Just returned from my third Vipassana silent meditation sitting, and want to unload my experience.
Vipassana is a type of meditation that focuses on observing one's sensations during the meditation and in the process trains the mind to be equanimous regardless of the sensations.
A fellow meditator friend asked me how my sit was this time, and my answer was “unexpected”. Although it has been my third time going at this, it didn’t occur to me that I would be able to reach a point of sitting still without discomfort.
The physical discomfort which normally would persist in all of my sits – even though the second time was easier – disappeared around the third day. The first two days I was feeling aches in my shoulders, felt my body was constantly in need of stretches but on Day 3, voila everything faded away. I no longer needed to do long stretches on my upper body, my spine and my hip flexors, my body became deeply relaxed. Normally the struggle to meditate will come around 45 minutes, and it would be with pain and discomfort, those were gone by Day 3.
With that my meditation took on a new experience, where sitting down is relaxed and a smooth ride, no real struggles – except this time the struggles are: sleepiness, boredom and wandering mind.
Mr. S.N. Goenka, or Goenkaji as the Vipassana practitioners call him, is the man who popularised the Vipassana meditation movement in the West listed that there are five enemies (or hindrances) when we meditate, according to Buddha:
- Sensory desire
- Aversion
- Sloth and torpor
- Restlessness and Remorse
- Doubt
These hindrances are quite obvious in the first few days: (1) Sensory desire: craving for food or comfort, (2) Aversion: Mental resistance to sit still, or to sounds or disturbances by others, (3) Sloth and torpor: Laziness, sleepiness, (4) Restlessness and Remorse: Thinking/wanting the meditation to 'improve', thinking and feeling guilt about something that one has done, (5) Doubt: Being skeptical if one can do it, or if the teachings can apply to me etc.
It can be easy to miss these hindrances if one's mind is not observing or concentrating.
As I proceed along the days, I realised that the observation of one’s sensations depended on how refined the mind is. If one’s mind remained gross and not subtle, it would be difficult to appreciate and observe the subtler sensations within. My third sitting proved to be under this category, as I sat many days with the same observations. As the sensations are not the goal of this meditation technique, one is training the mind to be equanimous at all times. Yes, in spite of boredom, to stay equanimous with the sensations, whether you are craving a pleasant sensation (a situation/thought that brings a sensation) or want to run away from an unpleasant sensation. A sensation is a sensation. It arises and passes away, and as one continually observes this wave like pattern, equanimity eventually arises.
It is said that an experienced meditator can feel the sensation manifested, when a thought arises, and one uses equanimity to be neither craving nor averse to the sensation, creating no reaction and therefore not creating new sankara.
I am intrigued by this, and am looking forward to implementing this habit to observe the sensation that arises following a thought.
So what did I learn after 10 days?
As we surrendered our electronic devices including mobile phones and all types of writing devices (no writing or reading is allowed), I was in a mobile phone-free space in nature for 10 days. Since there was nowhere to rush to, and no paper to write down my thoughts - and also nothing to read, the mind calmed down significantly after the second day. This is in line with my previous experiences from the same retreat.
What I did not expect was how relaxed my body was after the the third day. In the spirit of not disturbing the other meditators, only light exercise such as walking or light stretching is allowed. Yoga asana or jogging are not allowed. Initially I felt stiffness after a full day of meditation, and by the third day the stiffness has fallen away. What replaced the stiffness was a softness and relaxation in my body. I believe this physical bodily relaxation came from the relaxation of the mind - when the mind is relaxed, the body knows it can relax, and the relaxation is DEEP. I truly felt that my entire being, even my subconscious mind was relaxed. After the third day, the thoughts in the mind became softer and dropping further into the background, and a sense of peace arose to the foreground.
When we make space and time for the mind to slow down and be mindful, it can reach a state of relaxation that impacts our body on so many levels. To know it intellectually is one thing, to experience it firsthand is another. I believe this is the biggest takeaway from my sitting this time.
For more on Vipassana meditation, you can visit: https://www.dhamma.org
This webpage explains the five hindrances well: https://buddho.org/the-five-hindrances-to-concentration/
